Day 326: Black Narcissus (1947) - Rank 5/5

I...love...Technicolor. "Black Narcissus" splashes the screen with all the colors of the East in a manner so marvelous, it gives recent explorations in teh region, such as "Monsoon Wedding" or "Vanity Fair" or...um..."Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom" a damn good run for their money. To label a story about a group of nuns a Technicolor spectacle almost seems contradictory, for black and white scarcely necessitate the film medium. But the stark white of the habits create excellent juxtapositions with the rosy hue of Deborah Kerr's cheeks, to say nothing of the monochromatic dresses of the nuns pitted against the multi-hued royal palace where they settle down.

The tale seems a paltry one at first - a band of nuns open up a new mission and must battle the elements as they win the people's hearts. The location is delightfully exotic - the palace of Mopu, set high in the Himilayas just off the beaten path from Darjeeling, India. But the picturesque setting holds an unseen power - one that draws out the insecuritues of the sisters. Sister Ruth's sexual desires run mad, mixed with a dash of hypocondria and mental instability. Sister Philippa plants flowers rather than vegetables, reasoning that something about the beauty of the place betrayed her logic. Even Sister Clodagh (Kerr) experiences a similar sexual frustration to the others, brought about by reoccurring memories of an unrequited love, the presence of the "charming" Mr. Dean (David Farrar) and the erotic perfume of the local young general(Sabu) - the infamous Black Narcissus.

The complexities behind the fragment psyches of the nuns draws you in, much as the nuns are drawn to the brooding and mysterious atmosphere of the palace. There are many moments that are positively chilling, such as the scene where Clodagh walks into Sister Ruth's room and finds her in a civilian's dress with lipstick as red as blood. The nun, fallen prey to her own madness and temptation, is a far scarier creature than those conjured up by the likes of Jack Pierce. As Ruth continues to apply makeup, Clodagh begins reading scripture, a duel of wits that's absolutely masterful. Perfectly executed and deep in structure and message, "Black Narcissus" rivals "Mother Joan of the Angels" "The Devils" and "Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit" where dark stories about nuns are concerned. Yes, I know I'm bad...

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Day 325: Walkabout (1971) - Rank 4/5

"Walkabout" is a dark and terse coming-of-age story in the wilds of the Australian outback. The film derives its title from the Aboriginal rite of passage ceremony where the young males of the tribe disappear into the wilderness and survive off of the land, only to return some time later as “a man.” That individual is played by one of the most distinctive Aboriginal character actors in pictures, David Gulpilil (an excellent, first performance). During his excursion across the Australian desert, he happens across two young children, Girl and Boy, whose father killed himself and left them to rot in the wilderness. Hindered by the language barrier, Girl makes it clear that she and her brother wish to return to “civilization,” and together, the three set off on their journey.

While the basic setup may seem prime fodder for a Disney live-action film, the finished product is anything but in the hands of Nicolas Roeg. Roeg pits the travelers against themes of sexual frustration and coping along with the sun and venomous wildlife. The juxtaposition of colonial civilization with Aboriginal mysticism is as present here as it is in some of Peter Weir’s earlier works (blatantly presented at times, as we see Girl lugging a transistor radio through the desert, tuned to a station that spouts out etiquette advice 24/7). But the film differs from Weir’s works, because the heart of the film is not a mystery, but rather, a tale about the dissolution of youth and the premature acceptance of responsibility. Roeg uses the backdrop of Australia’s outback so beautifully, the entire film often feels like William Blake’s “Songs of Innocence and Experience” sent wonderfully into motion.

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Day 324: Star Trek (2009) - Rank 5/5

Posting a review on this film detailing the outlines of the plot would be rather moot, for it seems that I was one of the few individuals who waited so long to see it. I have nothing against Star Trek – in fact, far from it. My Saturday evenings were spent watching The Next Generation with my father (typically, I served as an altar boy on Saturday night mass, so my father had to speed like a madman to get home in time for the show. Many a night I tuned out the rote ceremony with ponderings over what the Enterprise would encounter next. But I digress…). I can also pepper any serious conversation with dozens of “Star Trek VI” quotes with relative ease.

Therefore, my delay in seeing the film was not due to disinterest. Instead, I was working three jobs at the time of its release, mixed with my duties for Wonderfest, end of the school year, trip to the Grand Canyon, blah, blah, blah, [insert pithy excuse here]. As a result, I greatly regret not seeing the film on the big screen, because it’s one hell of a time (perhaps Mr. Spock’s time traveling device would come in handy here, though I have to ask: “Red matter?”). While the storyline might be heavily convoluted for an origin story (again, “Red matter?”), it still entertains by presenting a wet-behind-the-ears crew that wipes away the memories of the former cast’s snarkiness at the end of their careers and replaces it with wild action executed with wild abandon. The reckless and eager nature of Chris Pine compliments the persona of Captain Kirk perfectly, and (Karl Urban channels DeForest Kelly to a “t.” In fact, the reimagining is an exercise in perfect casting (though Simon Pegg does get a bit irritating in quirky mode as Mr. Scott), so it’s easy to see why so many fans were accepting of the film. Thanks, J.J.

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Day 323: Patrick (1978) - Rank 4/5

Low budget and gimmicky, but still entertaining fare. The film opens up similarly to John Carpenter's "Halloween," with a brutal POV murder of a happy couple in a bathtub - the only back story we get for Patrick (note: while both film openings are remarkably similar to one another, "Patrick" neither filmmaker could have been aware of the other's film until much later due to delayed, overseas release dates). Years later, Patrick is in a comatose state in an insane asylum. Enter Kathy, a naive nurse whom Patrick takes a liking to. At first his gestures are as simple as reflexive spits or the occasional erection, but soon his telekinetic powers are writing prose on Kathy's typewriter and tearing her home asunder when Kathy's eye turns to another man.

Pure drive-in cinema with a "Twilight Zone" air, but the film does generate genuine suspense. There's also a fair deal of dark humor peppered throughout the storyline. Robert Helpmann also stars as the sadistic head of surgery at the hospital - a man who is reduced to eating frog's innards by the end of the film. While the film is, by no means, perfect, for its pacing is rather labored at times, it does function well as a "gateway film" for inducing the desire to watch more Aussie horror flicks.

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Day 322: MST3K: Santa Claus (1959) - Rank 5/5

From “Return to Oz” to “The Neverending Story,” I had ample nightmare material to fuel my childhood mind. Still, “Santa Claus” takes the cake when it comes to disturbing children’s films. It also presents Santa’s workshop and his personal plight in a manner far more bizarre than “Santa Claus: the Movie.” Yes, while the 1985 box office failure had a semi-sober Dudley Moore in tights, John Lithgow flying through the air while madly chomping candy canes and more product placement than you could shake a stick at, “Santa Claus” has child enslavement and the devil.

A devil by the name of Pitch is the main foil for Kris Kringle, and he does his best to taint the consciences of Mexican children everywhere. His goal is to destroy the Christmas spirit…or something. Santa has a workshop devoid of elves, but populated by children dressed in full stereotypical attire, from Spanish children in sombreros to Cuban children in guerrilla fatigues, guns in hand – I shit you not. There’s also a talking orifice that looks like Santa’s personal pleasure hole. It’s function seems rather vague. There’s also maniacally-laughing reindeer – a sight that would be more appropriate in an “Evil Dead” film and not a Christmas story. If you fear that Santa might not defeat the devil, then clearly you’re unfamiliar with the format of Christmas films. If you fear that you might suffer weird, fever dreams after watching this, you’re probably right. As for the MST3K crew, this is one of those episodes that’s a perfect hit. A somewhat entertaining B-movie mixed with a fantastic series of rejoinders makes this a holiday season must-see.

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Day 321: The Baron of Arizona (1950) - Rank 3.5/5

A very by-the-books biopic on one of the country's greatest con men. The film features an early pairing of two eclectic members of Hollywood - Vincent Price, prior to becoming a horror icon, and director Samuel Fuller (on his second feature length film). Price is James Reavis, a man who would make himself "Baron of Arizona" only through patiently acting out a twenty year scheme that will entitle the state to his name. He does so by adopting an orphan and having her schooled in the ways of Spanish aristocracy. While she grows old, he poses as everything from a monk to a gypsy so he can forge the proper documents to make it seem as if the land belongs to a family of Spanish nobles, whose only surviving relative is the young girl. And when she's old enough, he marries her so he can take over the state, which is a little creepy when you think about it...

Price executes the role with smarmy finesse, as he worms his way into the trust of one organization to the next, taking years to do so at times. As for the direction, well...it's hailed as a long lost Fuller classic, and the "long lost" portion may be accurate; however, the sense of direction is very conventional and it bears none of the earmarks that make it characteristically Fuller's (or anyone else's for that matter). And while the story is interesting, it never soars to the epic proportions its capable of.

Day 320: Always Leave Them Laughing (1949) - Rank 3.5/5

This tale of a comedian's struggle to make it to the top feels a little played at times, but what saves the story from being formulaic drivel is the brilliance of Milton Berle. This film was the perfect vehicle for the comedian to show his stuff, and while he was well-known prior, this seems to be the role that shot him to the household name status. As Kip Cooper, Berle has ample opportunities to not only lampoon himself, but also pay homage to countless comedians before him. Cooper is hackneyed, boorish and at many points, unoriginal. He tries to make a star of himself by taking on the stylings of others in the profession.

I found it entertaining to watch Berle tackle famous bits, like Al Jolson's "Mammy" or belt out a Cole Porter tune, as he moves from one vaudevillian act to the next in the hopes that he will strike it hot with audiences. There's something endearing about Cooper's desperation, but the darker elements to his soul as he walks over his friends and lovers alike to reach the top also fit Berle's personality as well. Ruth Roman and Bert Lahr are also fun supporting cast members, but this is definitely Berle's opportunity to shine.