Sunday, April 5, 2009

Day Eighty-Five: Teeth (2008) - Rank 4/5


This is the only film I've seen that elicits these two simultaneous responses from audience members - boisterous laughter and uncomfortable crossing of the legs. Provided, of course, that you're a guy. If not, only the former applies, for "Teeth," as the name indicates, is about a set of ravenous chompers. The component that makes this film stand out is the location of said teeth; they're known as "vagina dentata" to give you a clue. For those who weren't raised in the Catholic Hood as I was (i.e. the South end of Louisville) and lack a basic understanding of Latin, the teeth are found lining the poonanner of a teenage girl (no, I'm not fourteen, but I do lack ample opportunities to use such a silly bit of slang).

The film stars Louisville native (and Atherton High School graduate) Jess Weixler as Dawn, the virgin with a heart of gold and a vagina of cruel fate. Before you accuse me of being jejune, I have to point out that the film is immature in tone. This theme adds to the humor of the story being told simply because it could never be presented in a serious vein. After all, there is a scene where a gynecologist and Dawn are both screaming as he tries to pull his hand out of her and can't. The two writhe about until the doctor receives his hand back, sans four fingers. So is the film silly, stupid, immature and filled with blood-squirting, severed penes? Sure it is. But in my opinion, there's no shame in watching a film for sheer entertainment. I know that's a brief review, but at this juncture, you've already become dead set against watching the film or you've gone out to rent it already. Hopefully the latter. Pick up a hot dog to eat, too, for delicious, delicious irony.

Watch the Trailer

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