Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Day Seventy-Three: Last House on the Left (2009) - Rank 3/5


I've never seen the original version of this film, but if the sequel closely mirrors its predecessors basic story and atmosphere, I can pass. "Last House on the Left" pushes the envelope, not for what can be shown on screen, but for what can be in a film and it still receive an R rating. Between brutal murders and graphic rape, its scarcely a bring-the-family chucklefest. Yet, to my surprise, as well as to the surprise of the rest of my party (or should I say Eagle's party, since it was his "burfday") there were parents with toddlers and other young children present. Yes, have fun explaining why the "lady bled down there" or how "the microwave made man's head go boom." Actually, there were a couple of vocal individuals about two rows behind us who could easily do the job. Let me predict what the explanation would sound like...

Girl #1: "Shit! There was this girl Mary and this big-ass white dude who wanted all up in her so he took the girl and you wanna know somethin'? Ain't no man gonna touch me like that unless he wanna pull back a stub. You know what I'm sayin'."

Girl #2: "Mmmm-hmm"

Me: "That's straight up. You ain't trippin', gurl. Dat shit's of da hook, off da chain, off da wall, off da cuff, off da deep end and off da wagon." can't tell that I'm white and socially inept. Nevertheless, this streaming, over-zealous logorrhea was prevalent through our screening. Had the plot been complex, I'm sure I would have been lost as a result of the distraction. I was not though, for the movie is about a gang of psychopaths torturing a family for two hours. If you didn't get the gist of that from the trailer, then ask the scarred toddlers who were in the audience to explain it to you.

Watch the Trailer

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